Driver Reads Braille

As I was driving today in Ballard, I was behind a car that had a license plate frame that said "Driver Reads Braille."

The first thought in my head was, "CAN the driver read braille or do they HAVE to read braille?" These are two very different things. I started getting nervous as we inched at 3mph along NW 56th Street and was quickly realizing that it was probably the latter.

As we came to the 4-way stop by the library, I maneuvered around the woman and saw that she had on HUGE, thick sunglasses that were obviously prescriptions. I am all for equal opportunity, but I think for driving there's a certain issue of safety involved. I also think you might have to see the road (and other drivers) for the most part...

I realize this blog might come off as highly insensitive. I'm sorry. I guess if the DMV thought she was fit to drive, then she should be fine! (Right?) Right.

Recent Thoughts

Over the last week I have found these 2 quotes popping up almost every other thought. Yes, they come from movies. (Yes, one of them is a cartoon BUT is probably one of the most heartwarming cartoon movies ever. This makes it okay.)

"Adventure is out there!" - Up

and...

"Get busy living or get busy dying." -Shawshank Redemption

A few days ago, Seattle experienced an intense snowing that basically shut down the city. I braved the roads in my little Volvo from California during some of the worst parts, a roommate and I sled down a hill on trash can lids, and for the first time in awhile I felt like life wasn't flying by. 

Today I fully realized that it is November 26th, 2010. The day after Thanksgiving. The end of November. What happened to summer and fall? What happened to all the days and weeks that literally just passed me by? I have never felt so boring in my life. While there have been some definite memories over the last 6 months, a lot of it has been utterly forgettable. 

It's time for a life change. It's time to "get busy living or get busy dying." "Adventure is out there" and I'm ready to start going for it. I'm usually full of more ambition and drive and it's time to start going for it again. What "it" is, is another question/blog entirely. However, I'm ready to start living the moments and experiences of life. Who's with me?

Highlights from the new J-O-B

One of my favorite ways to debrief things (via SPRINT core) is "high/low." Soooo let's go!

Lows (always start with low to end with a high!)

• Kids
• Angry parents
• Screaming dads
• The privilege and entitlement others feel/express
• Office dynamics- this isn't necessarily a low, but more of a weird/interesting culture I'm learning about/becoming part of
• Early Saturday mornings
• Spending 8 hours in a 32 degree hangar 

Highs

• Kids (love 'em and hate 'em)
• Amazing staff person.
• Mojo. The name of a girl in a class I shadowed. Met her sister, Pino, last week.
• Patient, understanding parents that don't blame you for things out of your control
• Basically being paid to exercise
• Being paid.

Questions

Recently I've been questioning to the core (as a friend put it) what I actually believe and have faith in. It's been something that's been growing since probably this summer if I'm honest.

To give some context, I've always considered myself a Christian. I grew up in the church and really decided in high school that this was what I believed and wanted in my life. In college I grew more passionate about it all when I realized what a fighter for social justice JC really was (unlike many of His followers).

Then came life out of SPU. The unforced Christian community that was sparse and far between. Then there were coworkers and new friends who had no Christian foundation and were doing just fine. There were friends that didn't go to church but maybe still believed. There were articles and videos and news bites that displayed the ugly side of Christianity/the Church. There were friends who just came to faith and spouted off extremely Evangelical language and thoughts that were overwhelming to someone who was so hurt by the church throughout high school. There's the fear of what happens if I don't believe, but should that be the only thing keeping me in faith? There were the problems and brokenness in my communities of work, home, and in my own life and God seemed to have little hand in helping those things. And supposedly the brokenness is all humans' fault?

Then I broke. Last week I finally broke down and thought about and verbalized these feelings for the first time. And it came down to finally wondering...

Is this real?

If the Gospel is supposed to be this freeing thing, why do I constantly feel so trapped? Why do I feel so sickened by the people who are supposed to be part of this larger "family"? If I believe in this God, do I have to be part of that community? Do I have to speak in that language and adapt to that culture?

It's really overwhelming at times. In the last couple weeks I have felt mostly burdened by these thoughts. I'm stuck staring down the crossroads waiting for something to happen to make my decision for me.  For over 20 years I've believed in this and I'm not sure what it looks like to give it up fully.... On the flip side, if I decide this is real then what does that look like because I should probably be more committed this time around...

So many questions...

2 Random Sightings on the Road

During the last couple of weeks I have encountered quite a few sights along the road of Seattle. My two favorite are below...

• In the car behind me I observed a man playing with his dentures kind of like this (but not as a dog of course): 

He just kept taking them in and out halfway while we were stopped at a stoplight.

• A man that was riding one bike while carrying a whole other bike on his shoulder. I guess this might not be weird in Seattle, but being the unmotivated athletic person that I am I was impressed.